Sliding vs. Deciding: Why How You Got Here Matters I ask a lot of couples how they ended up living together, or engaged, or committed to each other for the long haul. What surprises me is how often the honest answer is some version of "it just kind of happened." A lease was ending. A move made ...read more
The Argument That Predicts Divorce Isn’t the One You Think
If you ask most couples what they think will cause the biggest fights down the road, they'll usually guess in-laws, or how often to see friends, or who does the dishes. Almost nobody guesses money — and that surprises me every time, because the research keeps saying otherwise. In fact, money ...read more
The Tools Every Couple Needs to Start Well
The Tools Every Couple Needs to Start Well For a lot of my career, premarital counseling lived almost entirely inside church walls. These days, however, many couples are interested in non-religious premarital counseling as well. I understand why — I spent years as a pastoral counselor myself, ...read more